How to Find and Create Lasting Love by Dylan Thrasher

We have all trial-and-errored our way romantically to today, and that is okay. Instead, you need to create a story from your dating past to now, which you see wisdom in and use to move into a dating future where you end up finding love. There are a lot of people you can go on dates with who will give you a happiness buzz, but that can be temporary. How many times have you judged a date based on the in-the-moment feel of it?

So, how does all of this relate to a secret strategy for finding true and long-lasting love? Well, it suggests we should all engage in meaningful dating rather than happiness dating. There will be moments of happiness and sadness within the story, but its meaningfulness is paramount. If we are storytelling machines, it could be argued that for you to feel your life is meaningful, your own personal story must thread your past to your present in a way you are okay with, and present a path to a future you desire. The most coherent stories contain a strong thread through time.

For the most part, we try to find a personal story, which allows us to each feel content with our lives.īut what makes up that contentment? Perhaps, it is the pursuit of happiness? Or maybe it is more about meaningfulness?Ī study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology attempted to disentangle the concepts of happiness and meaningfulness, and concluded when a person is happy, he or she is concentrating on the moment he or she is in yet, when a person feels meaningfulness, he or she has achieved a connection between past, present and future. Of course, the stories we are all most interested in is the coherent story we tell about our own personal selves. And it can be incredibly difficult to change our minds after accepting the fact. If a story is coherent enough that it suspends our disbelief, we happily go along with it as pretty much fact. We humans adore jumping to conclusions, no matter how sparse the data might be.Ĭoherency is the aspect we prize highest in the stories we create. The widely-acclaimed book, ' Thinking, Fast and Slow, ' by Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman makes the case for understanding our minds as storytelling machines. Sounds like a good deal, right? Well, there will be a downside, but we don’t need to focus on it just yet. You give me a couple minutes of your attention, and I will illuminate your past romantic mishaps in such a soft glow, they will come to look like a mere comic preamble, which has been preparing you for true love. In this article, I will reveal to you the secret strategy for finding true and long-lasting love.

How to Find and Create Lasting Love by Dylan Thrasher